A Woodside Wedding: Traffic Woes and Hiding From My Groom

After getting into my dress it was about 2:15 in the afternoon. But not everything was going smoothly. Bridesmaid H had just gotten word that the guys were all dressed and ready to head out to the venue, however the 2 groomsmen who had left early with the Uhaul were stuck in traffic from a wreck, on the way to the venue!

(Isn't she pretty? And I love how the earrings Bridesmaid H borrowed from me pop in this picture.)

Yikes, not good, because once you’re stuck on the main road up to our venue, there’s no real way to turn around. The groomsmen and all of our wedding decor was at the mercy of the traffic jam! And with a very tight set up schedule, them arriving at the venue late could mean a late start to our ceremony. :(

I didn't have too much time to dwell on it though, since it was out of my control, so I quickly told my bridesmaids to take another route up to our venue, shoved a new map with the alternate route and an envelope of cash for the cab at them, and focused on the next matter at hand: getting to our first look.(Me, with one of my many back up maps and driving directions)

I conferred with our photographers for a minute, and it was decided that Mr. Cola would ride with our primary photographer in his car (the photogs needed to have their equipment with them), and he headed down the hall to grab Mr. C. Meanwhile, I grabbed my emergency bag, purse and hanger with my veil and garters, and headed out of the suite with our second photographer.

I peeked down the hall and didn’t see anyone, so we ducked into an elevator. But when we got out of the elevator, I realized I wasn’t 100% sure where my groom was—what elevator did he take, which direction were they exiting the hotel, and why didn’t I pause in the room for a few minutes to avoid this potential ruining of our first look?

So, heart pounding, I dashed down a side hallway and gave Mr. Cola and our other photog a few minutes to safely get out of the hotel. Our photog took advantage of the time to take a couple more photos.

Once we knew the coast must be clear, we headed out to the lobby, where the limo was waiting to take me to our first look location, at a park about 15 minutes away. On the ride there I took full advantage of the air conditioning (did I mention yet that it was a crazy-hot day for June? It was.), called our DOC to let her know about the wreck delaying the Uhaul truck, and repeatedly checked the mirror to make sure I didn’t look like I was melting in the heat. I also had paparazzi snapping photos of me on our ride to the park.

At one point he told me to look serious, but it wasn’t easy! I was anything but serious at that point, more like a mix of calm, excited, relaxed, and giddy, and feeling very glam all dolled up and in my dress! I couldn’t wait to see Mr. Cola at our first look!

Some tips:

#1 If there is any travel involved on your wedding day, make sure you have extra maps and directions on hand. And some alternate routes mapped out. You never know what traffic could be like due to wrecks, weather, etc!

#2 If you're planning to do a first look, have a solid plan on how you, your groom and photographer(s) will be getting to your first look location, not just how to execute the first look itself (which was all that we had planned in advance). Bumping into each other in the hotel lobby would have been a bit of a let down for us, especially considering how much I LOVE how our first look pictures in the park turned out! Stay tuned, because those are coming up in my next post!

Miss any wedding week details? Catch up here:

- I packed an emergency bag that saved my dress
- We had a crazy 4 days prepping for house guests and stuffing favors
- Shopping for a ton of wedding flowers to arrange ourselves
- Mr. Cola drinks a 40 and I have a night out on the town for our low-key bach parties
- A day of DIY'ing flower arrangements
- I kicked off our official recaps with my #1 wedding tip
- We began the weekend festivities with a sunset cruise for our wedding party
- We rehearsed our quick and easy ceremony
- I panicked, but we got our rehearsal dinner decorations set up just in time
- Our families met for the first time at our rehearsal dinner under the trees
- What went wrong on our wedding day, and my tips for future brides
- My bridesmaids and I got our hair and makeup done in the hotel suite
- I put on my wedding dress and became a bride
- The guys watched the World Cup, then got ready in 10 minutes

(All photos in this post were taken by the very talented photographers of Shoot Me Now Photography)

A Woodside Wedding: What Went Wrong

You already heard about the panic of getting everyone on the boat ride the Thursday before our wedding, my mini freak out with not being able to start setting up for the rehearsal dinner on time, and how my dress got dirty before the ceremony, but before I begin the actual wedding day recaps, let’s talk about what went array on our big day, so the rest of my recaps can focus on the things that went right! No wedding goes 100% perfectly, ours included, no matter what we all see on TV or read about on blogs.

What Went Wrong: Running about 20 minutes late all day, starting with 2 of our 3 our hair and makeup artists showing up late, and made worse by our limo driver taking a wrong turn up the mountain on the way to our venue (he quickly figured it out, but turning around on a narrow and curvy mountain road wasn’t quick or easy, especially with one of our photogs following in his own car).

Plus, we’d sent 2 groomsmen up early with the Uhaul truck full of all the decorations, to arrive at our venue about a half hour before we could actually start setting up, so the truck could be unloaded and décor ready for the second we were allowed on site. But there was a wreck on the curvy road (which I heard about from a bridesmaid, who heard from a groomsman, who heard from another groomsman who was in the Uhaul), delaying them about 20-25 minutes as well. Luckily we found out about the wreck just before all the rest of the wedding party was about to head up to the venue and Mr. C and I were leaving for our first look, so I was able to tell them to take an alternate route (which I, of course, already had pre-printed out maps for).
My Thoughts/The Fix: I was worried, but resigned to the fact that when we got to the venue at 4:20 (supposed to be 4:00) things wouldn’t be quite set up, and we would have to start the ceremony later than my goal of 5:04pm (starting late was one of my #1 things I didn’t want to do, I hate making people wait, and all the guests would obviously assume it was because the I wasn’t ready), but when we got there things were mostly in place, and everything looked great! After the rush to get my dress clean, our DOC, got us all lined up, with it showing exactly 5:03pm on her iPhone. I could have hugged her right then and there if I hadn’t been asking the bartender for a last minute glass of water. It was so freakin’ hot in that tiny bridal room with everyone in there cleaning my dress, I was parched!
Note to Future Brides: You might run late on your wedding day, but it's OK. They won't start anything without you, so just go with the flow and remain calm. If you spend too much time stressing about the timeline, that means you're not spending time savoring and enjoying every moment of your wedding day, which is way more important than everything else!

What Went Wrong: My dress getting dirty during our first look (which I already went over in this post)
My Thoughts/The Fix: Fixed by having an emergency cleaning kit on hand.
Note to Future Brides: If you haven’t already, go back and read the post I wrote on my emergency kit, and then add it to your own list. It’s a must, and so much better to be prepared!

What Went Wrong: One of the Bridesmaid purse bouquet straps broke about 2 minutes before the ceremony started, spilling water and pearl beads everywhere
My Thoughts/The Fix: This was fixed by our DOC taking charge right away, saying it was OK, she would clean it up, and everyone would just carry the purses cradled in one arm! The show must go on, and although the purses hanging from a pearl strap would have been cuter, I bet not a single person noticed the difference.
Note to Future Brides: Even with a crazy-long contingency plan list, there is always going to be something you didn't think of that can go wrong. But again, it's OK, little mishaps aren't the end of the world, and actually, I think they make the day more memorable, and give you something to laugh about later.

What Went Wrong: The bathroom basket that I’d provided for the men’s restroom was too big. I never actually looked in the men’s room while planning, just assumed it would have a little table in the corner like the women’s restroom did. But when we were unpacking the Uhaul on the Sunday after the wedding, I found the guy’s basket supplies in another, smaller basket, with my cute little sign on it.
My Thoughts/The Fix: I actually have no idea where this smaller basket came from (Does it belong to our venue? Our DOC? Anyone want to claim it?), but no doubt this oversight on my part was quickly corrected by our DOC.
Note to Future Brides: If you’re planning any décor for the bathrooms, be sure to look in the guy’s bathroom, in case it has a different layout than the women’s.

What Went Wrong: One of the large centerpiece vases broke in transit to the venue.
My Thoughts/The Fix: Thank goodness we had extra vases!
Note to Future Brides: Have at least one back up of anything that’s breakable.

What Went Wrong: Family pictures took way. too. long. Like, to the point where we were ready to just walk away, head to the bar, and just forget them all! Thank goodness that we’d done our first look before the ceremony, or we would have been screwed, because as it was we only had time for just a few pictures of Mr. Cola and I alone after the ceremony at our venue. And sadly, we only got to try 1 appetizer from our cocktail hour (we both tried one of the bite sized crab cakes, and only got to because a waiter actually walked his tray across the meadow to where we were taking pictures) and 2 sips of a drink (because my friends brought us them towards the end). We never actually got to try anything from our giant cheese table, or see any of the cocktail hour up close. :(
My Thoughts/The Fix: A way this could have been fixed would have been for me to take charge. But I’d told my mother well in advance that if she wanted certain pictures, she was in charge of getting everyone together; neither I or our photographers were going to be in charge of that. Well, it took FOREVER, I have no idea why. Mr. Cola’s family was easy, they all got in place, called me over, a few minutes later, done! My family….not so much. Yes, my family is bigger than his, and there were some slow-moving handicapped members, but it was done in an extremely inefficient manner. We even had to interrupt dinner to go pose again with them.
Note to Future Brides: My advice is, if your parents want specific pictures with specific people, make sure THEY take charge, and have them tell the family in advance that they’re expected to be in pictures immediately after the ceremony. ‘Cause once people see the food and drinks, they’re outta there, and getting them back for pictures is a huge time suck. There was a good 25 minutes of just standing around waiting for people so pictures could be taken that we lost and can never get back. I would have MUCH rather had some time to enjoy our cocktail hour than more photos with family who I already have a million photos with and who I see all the time.

You can see my impatient face in this guest photo....I'm all by myself waiting for people to get their act together so I can just take a dang picture with them!


I should also note that extended family pictures were lowest on my priority list, I cared much more about pictures of Mr. Cola and I alone (which previous to the wedding, we had very few of that weren’t self shots with the tops of our heads cut off), and pictures of all the details I’d worked my butt off on the past 15 months. So that’s why I was annoyed that it took so long, plus it was a crazy-hot day for the Bay Area, and I was sweaty, dying of thirst, my feet hurt, and I really, really needed a fix from my biggest vice, chapstick. After I finally was able to duck inside for a second right before dinner, I stuck a tube of Carmex down the cleavage of my dress, and was good to go the rest of the night.

What Went Wrong: The music playlists got out of order. You know, the playlists that I’d spent countless hours perfecting and downloading, and then about 4 hours re-arranging into the perfect order for the best transitions and mood throughout the night? And then spent ANOTHER 4 hours re-arranging again in a different program, when I found out my first program didn’t retain the custom song ordering? Yeah. Additionally, the venue kept making our DJ friend turn the sound down, even though it was very quiet. Our venue, The Mountain Terrace, doesn't allow amplified music outside, but never specified any restrictions inside (in fact, we were specifically told when signing our contract that it would be fine to have the music loud enough to trickle outside), so I was quite annoyed by this, but will save the details for when I do my vendor reviews.
My Thoughts/The Fix: The playlist getting out of order really wasn’t a very big deal, I’m only listing it here because it’s something that went wrong that I noticed. And I didn’t even notice if the cocktail hour or dinner playlists were out of order (probably because I could hardly hear the music), and our first dance song came on when it was supposed to, which was all that really mattered. I’m guessing the last playlist with all the dance music just got put on shuffle mode, because a song or two after our first dance, when we were standing by the bar talking to friends, Ignition by R. Kelly came on. This is “our” song, because it was the first song we ever danced to back when we were first dating. I’d originally planned the playlist out so that Ignition would play at about 9:20pm, and would be our cue that we were a few minutes away from sneaking out of the reception at 9:30, to go set up for the after party. But no worries, our DOC came to the rescue again, and gave us our cue that it was almost time to leave. Plus, a lot of our guests (including both of us) aren’t really much into dancing, so the song order/transitions didn’t matter, nobody even noticed, I’m sure.
Note to Future Brides: To iPod/laptop DJ brides, if something gets messed up, just go with the flow. Nobody else will notice. But DO have backups if something really goes wrong. We didn’t need it, but had our MP3 player on hand in case the laptop died, or would have sacrificed the other laptop running the fauxtobooth if needed.

What Went Wrong: For some reason, our venue only provided 1 bartender. For 91 people! All along we had worked with our venue to provide the best party for our ~100 person guest list, and 2 bartenders were on our paperwork. I'm not sure if maybe they dropped one because our final guest count was a little less than 100?
My Thoughts/The Fix: I think if they intentionally only scheduled one bartender for this many people, we should have been informed, and been given a decision, because we would have definitely paid for one more! Or perhaps one of the scheduled bartenders didn't show up? Maybe the venue wanted to save money on our full bar package, and one bartender meant the drinks would flow slower? I really don't know what happened here. All in all, I only have a few complaints about our venue, this being one of them, but I will be doing full Wedding Wire vendor reviews at some point with all the details, so I'll leave it at this for now.

What Went Wrong: A couple of guests showed up late and missed part or all of the ceremony.
My Thoughts/The Fix: My thought is “whatever, their loss!” I gave everyone ample notice about the time it took to drive to the venue and the 5pm sharp ceremony start time, on both the invitations and our website. And I even gave them a 4 minute grace period by starting at 5:04. So oh well, at least nobody tried to interrupt the processional by seating themselves, which would have been the only thing I would have cared about anyway.

What Went Wrong: At dinner, everyone got champagne poured at their table for the toasts.
My Thoughts/The Fix: Now, this isn’t really something that went wrong, it was much appreciated actually! However, the venue usually charges $2 per person for a champagne toast, so we’d decided just to let everyone drink whatever they were already drinking to not add another $200 to our bill. But the table-side champagne service happened anyway, not according to plan, so score!

All in all, these are the bigger things I can think of that didn’t go according to plan on our wedding day, although there were a few little things that I didn't mention because they were so small that only my anal self noticed (like the entire ceremony wasn't exactly lined up at the same precise angle as the wood box and plant behind the arbor, so everything wasn't quite as turned to the bay view through the trees as I would have liked).

(guest photo)

I’m sure there were more big things that went wrong, maybe a lot more, but if I didn’t notice them, I’m not going to care! And all of these things were really more minor annoyances than huge catastrophes, and none of them really got me down (except the wasted time during the cocktail hour).

Amazing, isn’t it? A crazy, type-A, planner to the max was able to let things go, and lived to tell the tale! Trust me, if I can do it, anyone can. Enjoying your big day is way more important (and fun!) than agonizing over the little disruptions.

Now, lets start the big day off with getting ready in our hotel suite, up next!

Miss any wedding week details? Catch up here:

- I packed an emergency bag that saved my dress
- We had a crazy 4 days prepping for house guests and stuffing favors
- Shopping for a ton of wedding flowers to arrange ourselves
- Mr. Cola drinks a 40 and I have a night out on the town for our low-key bach parties
- A day of DIY'ing flower arrangements
- I kicked off our official recaps with my #1 wedding tip
- We began the weekend festivities with a sunset cruise for our wedding party
- We rehearsed our quick and easy ceremony
- I panicked, but we got our rehearsal dinner decorations set up just in time
- Our families met for the first time at our rehearsal dinner under the trees

(All pictures in this post are personal photos, taken by our wedding guests)

Contingencies

You know that saying, "Whatever can go wrong, will?" These are five words that terrify me.

Especially when it comes to our wedding.

In my everyday life, I have a back up plan for most things. Traffic on the way to work? Take the other route. The grocery store is sold out of the ingredients I need to make dinner? I've brought other recipes and ingredient lists to make something else. When we go on vacations, I've always got the phone number, directions and menus printed for back up restaurants, just in case one we've planed on eating at loses our reservations or is closed. Needless to say, I'm a planner to the max (as if you didn't already know that about me)!

So of course, I've got to have contingency plans ready for when something on our big day goes wrong!

My mom and sister laughed at me when I sent them my list of the big things that might go wrong, and one or two alternative solutions for each. But I'm sticking by my opinion that this list will be massively important to have on our wedding day. Not only will it be a big time saver (nobody has to take time to stop and think of what to do when something goes wrong, just refer to the list of back up plans), but I also think it will be really valuable to our DOC. If something can't go as we've planned, she will be able to use this to make sure she's still carrying out our vision of the day, even if it's a secondary vision.

And thirdly, I wanted to make this list in hopes that it would make my wedding nightmares go away. Like many brides, I've been plagued by bad dreams about our wedding, mainly involving me running around in my wedding dress, sweating, and trying to put out fires. I know that it's just my subconscious telling me that I'm concerned about the very short amount of time we'll have to set up all the decorations, so I've included the things I've been dreaming about going wrong on this list.

In hopes that any of you might find it a useful starting place for making your own list of back up plans, I wanted to share my contingency plans with you all:

What Could Go Wrong: It rains
Solution 1: If it's just misting, get as many umbrellas as possible at Target, and still have the ceremony outside, but move the dining inside the lodge. Will have to lose the Photobooth, but still keep the dancing in the bar.
Solution 2: Be really upset…. and then if it's more than misting, move the ceremony inside the lodge. Have all the tables pushed up against the wall to the right of the front door, decorated with everything but the centerpieces, which will be ready to go elsewhere. Line the chairs up in front of the fireplace for the ceremony. After the ceremony, make everyone go to the bar for cocktail hour, and have staff move chairs and tables into dining arrangement, and put centerpieces in place after moving the tables. Have the head table set up in front of the windows. Will have to lose the photobooth in this scenario too.

What Could Go Wrong: Make up and hair artists are late
Solution: Start curling my own hair

What Could Go Wrong: Make up and hair artists don't show up
Solution: We do our own hair, and head to MAC at Hillsdale Mall to get our makeup done (call MAC as soon as we know we need to implement this plan)

What Could Go Wrong: A groomsman forgets his suit
Solution: We would know about it by at least Thursday (since I need to iron them all), and make him go buy a similar suit

What Could Go Wrong: A bridesmaid forgets her dress
Solution: We would know about it by at least Thursday (since I need to iron them all), and make her go buy a similar dress

What Could Go Wrong: I discover a stain/rip on my dress
Solution: I clean/repair it with my emergency kit

What Could Go Wrong: Photographers are late
Solution 1: Depending on how late, I make everyone in the room with a camera shoot me getting ready, my accessories, and dress
Solution 2: At 30 minutes late mark, call amateur photographer friend and beg him to meet us at Sharon Park to take our first look pics, and make him call and yell at our photographers who are late (since it was this friend who recommended them)

What Could Go Wrong: Photographers don't show up at all
Solution: Beg friend to shoot the wedding, have our officiant make an announcement before the wedding starts asking all guests to be sure to take lots of pictures and give them to the bride and groom.

What Could Go Wrong: Limo doesn't show up
Solution: Take a cab

What Could Go Wrong: Cabs with wedding party get lost on the way to the ceremony
Solution: They won't, the wedding party will have printed directions with them

What Could Go Wrong: Guest charter bus doesn't show up
Solution: Have the Marriott call a fleet of van cabs for everyone

What Could Go Wrong: Guitarist forgets to bring guitar to ceremony
Solution: Should have enough time to go back to the hotel for it

What Could Go Wrong: Music system doesn't work
Solution 1a: If it's the speakers/receiver, ask one of my co-workers to trouble shoot upon arriving, since they're familiar with the equipment. If they can't get it fixed, just play music off of computer speakers (bring plug in desktop computer speakers).
Solution 1b: If it's the laptop not working, use MP3 player.
Solution 2: If MP3 player fails, sacrifice the photobooth and use the photobooth computer to play music.

What Could Go Wrong: People get lost coming to the wedding
Solution: Appoint someone to be the contact person for lost guests (maybe Mr. Cola's parents, Aunt K?), put that person's cell number in the OOT packet of info, and make sure they bring a cell phone charger.

What Could Go Wrong: Officiant forgets the ceremony/vows
Solution 1: Pack and extra copy with the decorations and also make mini version and give to one of the groomsmen to carry in their pocket

What Could Go Wrong: Officiant doesn't show up
Solution: Other friend steps in as back up officiant (he's ordained too)

What Could Go Wrong: We forget our marriage certificate
Solution: If we do, not too big of a deal, we can always sign it later

What Could Go Wrong: We forget our rings
Solution: Make sure they are tied to a ribbon inside sister's purse bouquet that morning

What Could Go Wrong: Chargers break in transport
Solution: I've reserved 5 extra, if more break we'll go without them on the tables

What Could Go Wrong: Sibby's cupcakes get damaged in transport
Solution: Put the damaged ones on the back of the cupcake stand

What Could Go Wrong: Sibby's cupcakes don't show up at all
Solution: Go across the street to Alice's restaurant and buy/order any pies/cakes they have on hand, and set up pies on the cupcake stand

What Could Go Wrong: Cupcake tower gets broken in transit or in set up
Solution: Be really upset….and then just set up a long table and hopefully at least the top part of the stand isn't broken and can be put on top of the table, with the rest of the cupcakes spread out on the table

What Could Go Wrong: Can't get computer to work in DIY photobooth
Solution 1: Ask our photographers if one can step in and shoot in the photobooth for a while, and make an announcement that the photobooth will be open for XYZ time our photographer agrees to
Solution 2: Say screw it and just take it down, or turn one of the signs around and write 'closed' on it

What Could Go Wrong: Limo doesn't come back to pick us up at from the reception
Solution: Call a cab

What Could Go Wrong: Pizza and wings for after party aren't delivered
Solution: Call another pizza place and put in a new order

What Could Go Wrong: Ceremony site isn't set up in the correct place (in front of the bay view, not redwood trees), or chairs are set up incorrectly
Solution: Not debatable, DOC makes the staff move things so they are right

What Could Go Wrong: Arch doesn't cooperate, or work with decorations plans
Solution: I trust my mom and aunt to do whatever they think is best to make it look ok

What Could Go Wrong: Aisle runner gets lost/dirty/won't work for some reason
Solution: Instead of using most of the petals on the dining tables, combine those petals with the aisle runner petals and use them all to make a floral runner, and just not have petals on the dining tables

What Could Go Wrong: Dining table centerpiece gets broken/messed up in transport
Solution: Use one of the other tall centerpieces from another location (cheese table, buffet table, coffee table, etc)

What Could Go Wrong: Small table centerpiece gets broken/messed up in transport
Solution: Use one of the other tall centerpieces from another location (cheese table, buffet table, coffee table, etc), it will be ok to have more tall than short centerpieces

What Could Go Wrong: Cocktail table centerpieces gets broken/messed up in transport
Solution: Replace with extra small centerpieces from indoor tables or women's bathroom

What Could Go Wrong: One of the LED light escort cards isn't working
Solution 1: Try switching in new batteries (provide extras in box)
Solution 2: Pop out the person's name and put that and their table number sticker in one of the extra escort card boxes

What Could Go Wrong: Pens for guestbook stones stop working
Solution: Shouldn't be a problem with all the extras I'm providing

What Could Go Wrong: LED lantern gets ripped
Solution: The hanging lanterns are priority over the ones on the steps, so replace any hanging ones with ones from the steps so there are still 12 hanging lanterns. Then either move it so there are only 2 lanterns per deck staircase (instead of 4), or however it works best with the remaining intact lanterns

What Could Go Wrong: 2" votive candles get broken in transit
Solution: Make it 4 candles per dining table instead of 5, or take candles from the head table to make 5 per dining table


As you can see from this list, there are only two things going wrong that will really upset me--rain, and our 6 foot cupcake tower getting broken. So making this list was also a good way for me to keep things in perspective. If some other things go wrong, it won't bother me as much, since this exercise of writing down how I will handle them has helped me prioritize what is really important to me.

I should also note that making this list hasn't made my wedding nightmares go away entirely.

Just last night I dreamed that the ceremony text our officiant was reading from had a bunch of typos and numbers in the words, and he couldn't read it and stormed off. Then, for some reason, my dad come up in his wheelchair and started reading the ceremony, but after a line or two stopped and announced that it was time to cut the cake and drink chocolate. I tore the papers out of his hands and said to everyone, "Should I just go 'blah, blah, blah the end'?" and then Mr. Cola and I ran off and slammed the door. A few minutes later I came out, and was in the dining room at the house I grew up in, and my mom was eating cake. When she offered me some, I slid it back across the table angrily at her, and she asked me "Are you really that angry?". Then I woke up.

Ok, so, I know that dream didn't make any sense. But maybe it's my subconscious telling me that I can make as many lists as I want, but still some things are going to go wrong? Which I know. And am going to be ok with, when the time comes. In the meantime though, I guess I'm just going to be stuck with my subconscious purging my stress every night. (Also, my subconscious is obviously annoyed that my dad keeps bugging me to have a chocolate fountain at our wedding, which is definitely not happening, since I don't even like chocolate!)

Have you thought of things that could go wrong on your wedding day, and come up with solutions on how they could be corrected? Or will you be able to take a more laid back approach, and just let what will happen, happen?